True To Yourself
My whole life, people have been getting my name wrong. At face value this may seem like no big deal. However, when I was a child I would cringe every time, my new teacher would do role call because I knew my name would be mispronounced. In fact, it was the cause of much grief especially when I did not have the courage to correct people. Why would it bother me so much when I just let someone call me what they wanted to? Well, it wasn’t my name. This somehow put me out of integrity with myself. It had nothing to do with another getting my name wrong; this was an honest mistake. It had to do with me not saying anything and correcting them. The feeling I had when I did this was not a good one. We have all had this feeling for a number of reasons. It is an incongruence between what we know to be our truth and our ability to express it. For me it was my name, among other things. For you, it may be the times when you don’t value yourself enough to speak up, ask a question or share your contribution. It may be the times when you don’t share your dreams with another or even say them out loud to yourself.
I knew I conquered my fear of being “Jenai”, when I was a guest on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. We were taping live in front of thirty million people as if that in of itself wasn’t enough to terrify me. Rosie came out on stage and introduced me. She called me, “Jan-nay”. There was that initial moment of being uncomfortable I had resonated with my entire life but something in me had changed. I couldn’t even let someone like Rosie O’Donnell get my name wrong.
“Rosie,” I said, strong and steady, “my name is Jenai.” I have to say she looked shocked, not expecting me to say that. Of course, it was not part of the script and we were live, on-air. She made a joke about her mistake, recovering gracefully and asked me where my name came from. I told her my parents were hippies. This became another source of humor and the whole exchange added another dimension to the show. This happened because I was willing to speak my truth.
It was a great lesson for me to be who I am and make no apologies for it. Given that who we are is evolving as we get to know our true self in deeper and deeper ways, we can only practice expressing our truth, as we know it in this moment. This is an excellent practice. It allows us to draw towards us the people, places and opportunities that resonate with our truth. This creates an aligned and fulfilling life experience.
